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The past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind, but I am finally back in the United States!  As I expected, saying goodbye to the home I had found in Honduras was really tough.  In Nueva Suyapa I had four wonderful and somewhat exhausting despedidas (farewell parties)-- put on by my co-workers at school, my church, my closest friends, and my host family.  These parties were a lot of fun, but they were also pretty emotional for me because I had the opportunity to hear how much I had meant to these people during the past year, as well as the opportunity to share how much they had meant to me.  I can honestly say that I did not want to leave the community of people that I had found in Suyapa, and I especially was dreading saying my final goodbyes to my host parents, grandma, and siblings.  Although it seemed like the week of goodbyes would never end, of course it did and I found myself on the bus heading toward San Pedro Sula for my final days with my MCC Honduras team.  Those few days in San Pedro were really meaningful and important for me to process some of the experiences I had just had, and the time that lay ahead for me.  In San Pedro they had another despedida for Mike, Christa, and I (the 1-year workers) as well as Virgil and Kathy Troyer who were leaving Honduras after having worked there for 4 years.  It was really hard to say goodbye to these people, as well as the rest of the team who will be staying a while longer, because they have truly been my support system and some of my best friends this year.

After a few days of great food, fellowship, and swimming the three of us SALTers headed to Akron, PA for re-entry retreat with the other SALTers returning from countries all around the world.  To be honest I was not super excited about this part of the process; I felt like I was done saying goodbye and I was ready to go home.  But it turned out that the four days spent there was more helpful and refreshing than I ever expected.  First of all, it gave me a chance to re-connect and spend quality time with some of my best friends from Bethel who had also done SALT in other countries-- Alison (Zambia), Rachel (Costa Rica), and Ben (Kenya).  It was also amazing to hear stories about the crazy and awesome experiences everyone had had during the past year.  Some were so different from what I experienced, but many were not that far off.  It was amazing and very unique to be in a place where I felt I had a connection with each and every person, and where I felt like I was understood.  I wasn't sure I would feel that in the U.S.

From Akron I flew to Kansas, where I am now.  The past week I have had a great time relaxing and re-connecting with the friends I have here, especially my amazing Bethel modmates.  It has also been awesome to spend time with my boyfriend, Sam.  I'm getting spoiled and it's great!  :)

Although it feels good to be in my home country, it is hard and feels a little strange.   There were small initial shocks like so many white people (this really was my first shock), everything in English, drinking fountains, flush toilets, and grocery stores with an abundance of everything.  Sinks with running water and drinking out of the tap still makes me feel kind of uncomfortable, but I think I will appreciate it so much more now.  There are also little things that have changed since I was here last.  People here have had experiences that have changed them here in the States, just like I have in Honduras.  People have moved, people have gotten married, people have died, and babies have been born.  It's amazing and exciting how much can happen in just one year.  One thing that has been on my mind this week is that I don't want to forget.  I don't want to get so absorbed in North American culture that I forget what it felt like to live on my little street by the bus terminal in Nueva Suyapa, to take public transportation everywhere or to be comfortable living simply and in community with my neighbors.  I hope I can remember what it felt like to eat mangoes with my host mom on the front steps and to read to my little brothers at night.  I will miss a lot of things and places in Honduras, but most of all I will miss the people.  The people I would talk to on the street, my co-workers, the people at church, my Danish friends, my gringo friends, and most of all my host family.  I had a chance to call them from Skype the other day, and it was so good to talk to Dona Juanita, Hector, and Paolo!  I found out that I have not lost my Spanish yet (thankfully!) but it was hard knowing they are so far away.  But I am still hopeful that someday I will be able to go back, either to live or to visit.  That is comforting to me.

Here is a short video called The Danger of a Single Story that we watched during Orientation, and that I recently re-watched.  I liked it the first time I watched it, but watching it after this year really hit home even more.  It put into words a lot of things I have been thinking about but was unable to say, especially about how it is so important to get to know people before making assumptions about them.  I think we all make assumptions whether we mean to or not, even if it means "feeling sorry" for people who live in poverty.  I have realized that these are the people we should be taking notes from in a lot of ways rather than feeling like we need to help or save them.  This video also made me think about how the U.S. only sees a single story of Honduras through the media-- the violent, corrupt, and dangerous side.  Those things do exist, but there is SO much more to the country, and so many beautiful places and people.  I am so thankful that I got to see many sides of the story of Honduras. Anyway, if you have 19 minutes to spare check it out: The Danger of a Single Story.

Tomorrow I get on a place for California.  I can't wait to see my family and friends there!  I will be cooking for the Fall camps at Keola through October, and then the plan is to move back to Kansas for awhile.  We will see where life takes me from there.

I want to thank you all so much for your interest and friendship and prayers this past year.  I have appreciated the support I have felt during this journey more than I can say-- it was what got me through the hard days.  I hope to see and talk with all of you soon.

Bendiciones y abrazos.
Keila

Sopa

I would like to talk a little bit about something that has been a big part of my life during the past year:  soup.  Soup is quite possibly the most-loved food of most Honduran people.  However, it is not mine.  Above, I posted a picture of a soup we ate yesterday, "sopa de res" (beef soup).  As you can see, there are many HUGE CHUNKS of things like beef, corn, yucca, pataste (I don't know what that is in English)... there are usually additional starchy things such as potato chunks, plantain chunks (with the peel still on), green bananas, and beans.  The question I have had in my mind since day 1, and still have not figured out, is how do I eat these huge chunks of things floating in boiling hot broth without burning my hands and my mouth??  I am mostly talking about the meat here, or other things you can't eat with a spoon. I generally have to take all the chunks out and set them on another plate to cool.  However, Hondurans don't seem to have this problem.  Their skin must be un-burnable. 
Of course there are many other types of soup that I have had the privilege of eating this past year: sopa de pollo (chicken), sopa de mariscos (seafood), sopa de frijoles (bean), and my least favorite of them all, sopa de mondongo (cow intestine). 

Some rules about soup in Honduras:
1.  It must be prepared and served on the hottest of days.  I can usually predict the day we will eat soup, because it is the day I am sweating the most, and least feel like eating piping-hot soup.  Hondurans don't like to mix hot and cold-- it's a health thing.
2. No one is allowed to drink water or any other kind of beverage with it.  The soup is your drink. 
3. You must add rice and tortillas to it.  Because of course you wouldn't fill up just eating the huge chunks of things. 


While sopa is definitely not one of my favorite Honduran foods, I should mention that there are so many foods that I do love here.  Baleadas (mainly because homemade flour tortillas are to die for), pupusas, catrachas, tortillas con quesillo, enchiladas, tacos, and pinchos are among my favorites.  And of course, the plato tipico (typical plate) of refried beans, eggs, cheese, chorizo, and tortillas that I eat about twice a day-- and amazingly still haven't gotten tired of.  No doubt, one of the things I will miss most about Honduras is the food.  Just maybe not the soup. :)

Exactly one week left in Tegucigalpa... time is going too fast.  Last week I said my official "adios" to the kids and teachers at school.  I'm expecting this week to be hard as I say goodbye to the other people I have come to love so much in my community.  On the other hand, I know it will be so good to see all of you back home in just a few short weeks!

Finding Esperanza

Sometimes it’s easy for me to focus too much on the difficult or frustrating aspects of living in Honduras.  When I find myself doing this, it’s important to take a step back and put things in perspective— so I would like to share some good things that have been happening in my life lately.  These are also things that give me esperanza, or hope, for the future. 

I recently did a small writing project with my fifth graders, where they had to write an anecdote—a personal story about something that had happened in their life.  Pretty broad subject, I know.  Most of them had a really hard time getting started, because they couldn’t think of a single thing that had happened in their life.  I worked hard with them though, and shared an example of an anecdote from my own life, and eventually they got the hang of it.   The cool thing was to see some of them really getting into it!  They wrote, I edited, they rewrote, and they illustrated it.  It was a simple project, but to see how proud some of them were when they had finished was really exciting for me.  I don’t think they do very much creative writing (aka not copying from the board) in the classroom, so this felt like a big deal and I was proud of them!

A few weeks ago I was invited to be part of the youth group planning committee.  This is a brand new group and it was started because, well, youth group was boring and people weren’t coming.  This means that we meet twice a month to plan (yes, plan!) what we will do each week at the youth group.  We are each assigned roles (I’m in charge of snacks and helping to lead a small group of girls) and decide what the theme will be each week, as well as what dinamicas (group games) will be played.   This is a huge improvement from what youth group used to be—starting about 40 minutes late, singing a few songs, listening to a guy preach, and going home.  Now it is so much more interactive and actually fun!  It has been exciting to see more youth coming and inviting other people to come.  I am also happy to have been invited to be on a leadership team like this, where I can spend time with some more people around my age.  I didn’t realize how much I needed that until I was in a place without many opportunities to do so. 

Last week we celebrated my baby sister Allison’s first birthday!  This meant that she wore her new dress and we all ate dinner together and gave her 100% of the attention.  It was a lot of fun to have everyone all together, happy, and listening to people tell stories about the little “princesita”. 

Someone recently visited MCM, and then donated some money to the library project.  After hearing that kids do not have books at home, nor can they check books out from the library, he wanted me to buy books for ten kids to keep.   So I made a list of the ten kids who have come to my after-school program the most and show the most interest in reading.  Yesterday I went to el centro in search for bookstores, and came back with a book for each child!  I am so excited to hand them out this week, and to see how they react.  I hope they like them!

Happiness and Sadness

It is already May 20—that means that in 2 months I will be in the United States of America!  I can’t believe how fast the time is going.  It’s exciting in some ways to think about coming home, but I wouldn’t mind if time would slow down a little… I don’t feel ready to leave yet.

 I want to thank everyone who sent me birthday wishes a few days ago!  It was fun to celebrate a birthday in Honduras.  My family gave me Hello Kitty earrings and a big sparkly Hello Kitty cake... haha it was nice to feel like a little girl again.  Kathy made me delicious cookies, and my MCC team made me a beautiful card.  Then yesterday my closest friends in Tegus—Elise, Mark, Franklin, Julie, and Katherine—surprised Debbie and I with a birthday picnic at the Villa Olimpica!  It was such a nice surprise and a lot of fun to be with all of them.  This year’s birthday is definitely one that I will never forget!

Despite celebrating my birthday, my heart has felt especially heavy lately thinking about the problems of the country I’m living in, and that I have grown to love.   Did you know that the current homicide rate in Honduras is 99 murders per 100,000 inhabitants, making it easily the most violent country in the world?  That lately there have been 25 to 30 murders every day?  And that only about 5% of them get solved?  Obviously, the ones that get investigated and eventually solved are the ones that affect the rich.  If a poor person is murdered, it is just another statistic.  That makes me so sad.  It makes me thankful for organizations like ASJ (Association for a more Just Society) that work for the rights of the poor in Honduras.  A few days ago a reporter was killed.  The whole country is grieving for him and for his wife and children.   Recently a boy from Nueva Suyapa was sexually abused and then killed by a church leader.  Another boy who volunteers at the hospital with some friends of mine was recently killed.  There are taxi drivers in Suyapa extorting people who get in their taxis, and gangs extorting the taxi drivers.   Watching the news is the worst, because that’s when I actually see the bodies lying on the ground, and hear the people crying.  I hear about things like this almost every day, and it is sometimes hard for me to not be angry and to understand why God would let this happen.  I also think about children, like my two little brothers, who see this on the news every single night.  Is it surprising to think that so many people are becoming desensitized to the violence?   I believe that God doesn’t “plan” for terrible things like this to happen.  And we can pray for Him to stop the violence, but we have to do more than that.  We have to educate ourselves, talk to people, do something about it.  I definitely don’t have all the answers, and most of the time I feel pretty lost about what my place is in all this.  But I feel strongly that something needs to be done, and that people can make change.   Even if it’s a tiny change, nothing is insignificant.  I pray to God that He would show us what we can do to bring healing to this place. 

Important Things

Today both classes that were supposed to come into the library cancelled on me.  This happens fairly often and it is discouraging, because it makes me feel like the teachers don’t think the library/reading is very important.  I think it is important.  I believe it opens up so many doors for kids (and adults), including improving other academic abilities, encouraging creativity, and even being an outlet or escape from real life at times.  So if it’s so important, and it’s obvious that so many kids love library time, why do the teachers keep taking this time away from them??

I was talking to Franklin about this during lunch and he talked about how most people here never read, never grew up reading in school or at home—they learned HOW to read (usually), but didn’t/don’t do it for enjoyment.  I did grow up reading a lot, so of course I think it’s important for everyone because I feel like it benefited me.  But who am I to say they “should” be reading?  I don’t know.  In a way I strongly believe that if these kids were more exposed to reading, they would enjoy it and benefit from it.  I’ve already seen this happen with some kids from my reading club—Isaac, Daniel, Vanessa, Angeli, Jonathan, Quemel.   I’ve seen improvements in their reading abilities, work ethic, and desire to read in just a few months.  But it still doesn’t seem right to say that my view/experience is right and theirs is wrong.  Lots of people do just fine without ever picking up a book.  I think my job here is just to open the door and give them the opportunity to experience reading in a fun way.  I wonder if it will stick with any of them long-term.  I hope so.

I’m going to let me mind wander for a second… bear with me!  Almost every single day since I got here on September 11 I have read books to Hector David and Paolo (my little brothers).  Sometimes I also wonder if my reading to them will benefit them long-term in any way.  If nothing else, they think the library where I work is heaven on earth!  Lately I have been talking with Paolo about the future.  What does he want to be when he grows up? (a dinosaur scientist or librarian.)  We talk about how important it will be for him to go to finish 6^th grade, then middle school and high school, and then go to the Universidad.  How he can do anything he wants, even have his own personal library in his house (he was super excited when he heard that was possible), but he has to study hard first.  He plans to have his own car (like his older cousin, Cesar), his own library with books that aren’t photocopied, a wife (he says she’ll have to be his girlfriend first), and a house where Hector David, Allison, Mama Juana (grandma), Mami Marta, and Papi Hector will live with him.  He has a lot of plans and dreams, and although he is already being drawn in and affected by things that I don’t think any little kid should know about, he works hard on his 1^st grade homework and LOVES to learn.  I’m not kidding—if he could pick any book from the school library, he would choose an educational one every time.  This amazes me because I’m pretty sure I was not like that as a child!  But he is fascinated by science, and especially animals. He makes me read the scientific names of animals to him over and over until he has them memorized.  Even though Paolo drives me crazy sometimes with him mean temper and stubbornness , I love him more than I can put into words.   I just hope that the more he is exposed to the sometimes scary world of Nueva Suyapa, he can remember the things that are important in life. Even though he’s only 6, I hope I’m doing something to help him with that. 

Family Visit

ROATAN  :)

Emeril, our awesome water taxi driver

Ziplining!

Snorkeling

Carne asada on the roof

My little hombrecitos

Mom & Dad at the sawdust carpets :)

April has been a really, really great month.   The main thing that made it so great was that my parents and Quenzer grandparents were able to come visit me and see the place I have been living for the past 8 months.  I was a little nervous at first, knowing that I would be (or feel) responsible for making sure they felt comfortable and, of course, for translating everything.  You can ask them to be sure, but I think both of those things went pretty well.  The first few days of the trip were spent in Tegucigalpa, and mainly here in the colonia where I live (Nueva Suyapa).  My parents stayed in my house, while my grandparents stayed with Virgil and Kathy Troyer—so both got a taste of what it’s like to live pretty simply in a very poor community.  It was great to spend time with my real family and host family all together.  Despite the language barrier, they got along really well (as I knew they would, especially since Doña Juanita had not stopped talking about this trip for the past month).  We then rented a car and headed to the Mayan ruins in Copan Ruinas.  During this part of our journey I also got to visit with my first host mother from language school, Doña Elena.  This was especially meaningful for me because I felt like I was visiting with a completely new person—when I first lived there 8 months ago I could hardly speak or understand her and so our communication was very limited.  This time, I was able to sit down and have a real conversation with her, and it felt like I was talking to her for the first time!  I don’t know if this makes sense to anyone else, but it was really an amazing experience for me.   After a couple days in Copan we headed to Lake Yojoa.  We ate some fried fish and smoothies, and then made our way to a place in a Honduran national forest called Panacam.   We did quite a bit of hiking there… hiking in a tropical forest is a pretty new experience for me, and it was awesome!  But after only a day there, it was time for my parents to go home.  I guess some people have to work for a living.  It was sad to say goodbye, BUT my grandparents stayed for another week so the fun continued.  The next day we made our way to Roatan!  If anyone has not heard of Roatan, take a minute to google it.  It’s pretty much the most gorgeous Caribbean island you can imagine.  We only spent 4 days there, but we packed in as many things as possible.  We snorkeled, saw a dolphin show, zip-lined through the top of a forest, visited a beautiful park, let monkeys crawl on our heads, spent time on the touristy West End, swam, and of course spent lots of time on the beach.  Other than having a bad encounter with a coral reef while snorkeling one day, it was perfect.  I can’t wait to go back (assuming being a teacher helps me get rich)!  Goodbyes are always hard for me, but I know that in only 3 months I will be saying hello to them again.   And saying goodbye to people I have come to love here.  But I would rather not think about that quite yet. 

 

Now for getting back to my real life of working and living life off of an island.  I felt like the transition back was going to be pretty difficult, until I got to work and was attacked/hugged by a ton of adorable children.  I guess this isn’t so bad either.  :)

Sorpresas

A few days ago we had a surprise birthday party for my host dad, “Hector grande”.   We had spent weeks planning and plotting for this event, as well as trying to keep Hector pequeño (my 3 year old brother) quiet.  He knew it was supposed to be a surprise, but since it was all he could think and talk about this was not an easy task.  So first, I made a cake (vanilla, with rainbow sprinkles) and we hid it safely in the oven overnight.  The day of his birthday, he was at work until around 6:30pm.  At 6:25 we turned off all the lights in the house, locked the doors, and Doña Juanita, Marta, Paolo, Hector, Franklin, and I huddled together on the floor of the dining room.  This was mostly amusing because little Hector kept coughing and Marta kept telling me to cover his mouth, which just made him cough more.  Finally he came home (a little confused about why it was so dark and the TV was off) and we all jumped up, turned on the light, and yelled things like “feliz cumpleaños!” and “felicidades!”.  He seemed very happy and surprised (thank goodness the coughing didn’t give us away!).  We sang Happy Birthday in English (which I was forced to lead) and in Spanish.  We then ate Doña Juanita’s amazing tacos, his favorite food, and ate the cake for dessert.   Marta had bought a number candle to put on the cake, which was cool… except that she got the number 35, and later found out he was only turning 34!  We laughed about this for a long time.  Through all of the chaos that went on to make this little birthday party happen, I think it is amazing how everything worked out perfectly in the end.  I have felt that way a lot during the past year… Hondurans are not always the best planners, but somehow things almost always work out amazingly well.  I wanted to share this story because it was one of the best bonding times I have had with my Honduran family, and it is one I will not forget.   And seeing how he has still not stopped talking about it, neither will little Hector.