Trabajo

I am writing this in high spirits, mainly because outside my window Feliz Navidad is playing somewhere at full volume.  Christmas in October… I’m ok with that.

Well since the majority of my life here is spent working, I figured that I should talk a little bit about what I do here.  I work in a building called Genesis (pronounced “henesis”) with an organization called MCM, or Ministerios Christiana Mayordomia.  This translates to Stewardship of Christian Ministries, or SCM (this gets confusing when you consider that I am also here with the organization MCC, which in Spanish is CCM).  MCM has a few big projects like community gardens for single moms, a banking/loan problem to help people (mostly single moms) start small businesses, and day cares.  The biggest of their programs, though, is the elementary and high school called El Verbo.  The elementary school is preschool through 6^th grade, and the high school is a short walk up the hill.  This school is connected to the Sala Evangelica, where my family and I go to church.  Almost all of the Genesis staff attend this church as well, which is helpful for getting to know people in both places.  The school is Christ-centered, which means there are devotions Monday and Friday mornings, Bible classes, and LOTS of Bible songs.  .  It is a private school, but it is still very poor and just about all of the students are living in some degree of poverty. Although it has its problems, like all schools do, I have come to love this place and the people in it.  

As many of you know, I am working in the elementary school library… mostly.  Upon arriving here I learned that this would be my main responsibility, but I will most likely also be helping in some classrooms, working in the colegio (high school) library, and leading a teacher training later in the year.  The first few weeks that I was here, I spent almost all day every day observing in different classrooms in order to get to know the teachers, students, and the various methods of teaching/discipline.  I won’t lie—these first couple weeks were a shocker to say the least.  I had just finished my student teaching in May, where I had learned and practiced how to maintain a very organized, orderly classroom.  I’m struggling with how to put into words how different my experience was here.  Expectations for behavior seem to be very different here, as are procedures for discipline.  Basically what I’m saying is, there aren’t many… or sometimes any.  Of course, every teacher has different methods and expectations and I honestly felt like I learned from each one.  I don’t believe these differences are wrong, they are just different from what I was taught.  Here is a typical scenario of what one of these observations looked like:  I walk into a classroom, and explain to the teacher in my broken Spanish that I will be observing in their classroom.  I take a seat; 5 minutes later, the teacher leaves.  They might come back half way through the class period (which is 45 minutes long), or not.  Meanwhile, the kids go nuts.  They start yelling, running/jumping over things, fighting.  At first I was completely stressed out trying to calm the kids down and break up the fights.  After talking to my supervisor about this, I was told that I was not expected to actually do anything in these situations; the teacher probably just thought that since I was an adult sitting in the room, this would be a good opportunity to do other things.  Many times, even when the teacher is there, the kids are doing their own thing.  And many times, the teacher seems to be ok with it.  Although I struggled with this, I eventually stopped getting so overwhelmed when it happened.  I took the opportunity to get to know the kids and practice my Spanish.  I sometimes read books to small groups of kids.  It’s amazing how hungry for attention and love these kids are.  I feel like I get a million hugs a day, which I can’t complain about.  I also found some teaching methods that I really like here, some that I had never been taught in the U.S.   I actually wrote a report for the principal about some positive and negative teaching methods that I observed… if you’d like to read it please let me know I’ll be happy to send it to you.  It is in Spanish though.  :) 

 

Now that my orientation/observation period is over I am spending almost all day, every day, in the library.  I love it!  Yesterday I finally finished organizing all of the English books (there are over 600 of them… doesn’t that seem a little silly in a school where kids only speak Spanish?).  They are now color-coded by level and sorted by subject and alphabetized.  That feels like a huge accomplishment for me, and I just hope they get some use at some point.  Now I’m on to organizing the Spanish cuentos, and when I finish that I’ll work on the teacher resources and textbooks. I don’t have a lot of resources to work with, but I’m learning to be creative with what I do have.  Last month, I started an after-school reading program for 3^rd, 4^th, and 5^th graders.  Every day I read with kids during their recess time, for about an hour and a half total.  November is the end of the school year, so lately I have been planning summer vacation reading programs for the kids.  I’m also hoping to start up an English club for some older kids.  Some of my other responsibilities this year will be to host each class in the library twice a week, visit and read to kids in the day cares, paint and decorate the library, create a simple card catalog system, create a check-out system for teachers (kids are not allowed to check out books), and work in the high school library.  

When I write it out, it sounds like a lot.  So far I am not overwhelmed (ok, sometimes I am)… mostly I am just excited.  I am gradually feeling a little bit more a part of the school, and I am (I hope!) making the library a more fun place to be.  Something I have been thinking about lately is that, in one year, I am not going to do much to improve students’ reading skills.  I probably will not make much of a direct impact on their lives at all.  So even though my title is “Reading program coordinator” I think there are other things that I need to focus on.  I want to emphasize respect and sharing in my classes.  I want them to know that the library can be a fun place and more importantly, a safe place to be.  And I want the library to be arranged in a way that makes sense and is easy to use, so that after I leave it can continue to be used by students and teachers.   Those are my goals.

One benefit of working here is that every night I bring home 3 or 4 books to read to my brothers, Paolo (6) and Hector (3).  They love this.  The second I walk in the door they attack me and ask, “Trajo mas libros?  Libros de dinosaurios?”  They are obsessed with dinosaurs. When I say yes, they scream and flail around uncontrollably.  Did I mention that they are the cutest little kids ever?   On a side note, last night I taught them how to do the Macarena.  It was maybe the funniest thing I have ever seen.  

Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read these.  I love getting emails from you, and it’s nice to know that people are thinking of me.  I’m thinking of you too.  :)

Spanish

I haven’t written in a while, and I wanted to talk a little about one of the biggest parts of my life here—the language.  I’ve been in Honduras for almost 2 months, and in Nueva Suyapa for half of that time.  At this point I think it’s safe to say that this is the hardest thing I have ever done.  Spanish is a language that I have always loved and wanted to learn, and now it is the cause of most of my discomfort, frustration, fear, confusion, and random tears.  It also keeps me humble 100% of the time.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a language that I love and want to learn, I just never knew that getting there would be this tough.   When I step back and really look at things, I’m pretty sure that I am improving and understanding more than I did a couple months ago.  I’m probably also getting braver, in that I attempt to start conversations or join in conversations more than I used to.  And I’ve decided to not be so afraid of sounding dumb, because that is unavoidable.  Sometimes I feel like I am making no (or very very slow) progress, and that is frustrating for me.  

One of the hardest parts about being immersed in a Spanish-speaking culture is that I often feel like I have no personality in Spanish.  For one thing, I don’t understand when people make jokes, and I definitely can’t make jokes.  So I’m not a funny person in Spanish.  I smile and nod my head a lot, which I’m trying to stop doing when I don’t actually understand what’s going on because that has gotten me in trouble in the past (ask me about it if you want to know).  It’s hard for me to express pretty basic emotions such as joy, sadness, or excitement when I can only use facial expressions and my limited vocabulary.  I’m hoping that as the year goes along, my Spanish personality comes out a little more so that I can be a real person.  

I also really enjoy getting to know people and having more than surface-level conversations.  The only people I have been able to do this with have been my MCC team and volunteer coordinators, all of whom are gringos.  This has really limited my ability to get to know my family, which is hard because I want to.  As time goes on, I am trying to find ways of asking more personal questions in order to get closer to them, and I think they are becoming more comfortable with me as a result.  It’s just hard when, for example, I don’t understand why they are taking the baby to the doctor again… and even if I find the words to ask I often don’t understand the answer.  I didn’t expect to miss having conversations with people, but it has turned out to be one of the things I miss the most about being home.  

I may have mentioned this before, but I often have no idea what’s going on.  I’m getting used to this and it doesn’t make me as uncomfortable as it used to, but sometimes it is a little overwhelming.  For example, I have gone to the church’s youth group a couple of times.  For the record, youth group is different here than in the US—it’s pretty much for any unmarried person, so I am definitely not the oldest person there.  Anyway, it’s always a challenge in itself to follow the songs and the message, but the interactive game time afterwards is almost impossible.  I often find myself sitting alone since everyone else knows each other already, except when someone is bold enough to sit by the new gringa—which happens once in a while and I am so grateful for it!  These games usually involve two teams and often consist of racing to do something Bible-related.  Racing to do anything in Spanish is not my forte.  I like the energy of it though, and the people seem really nice so I will keep going and hopefully make some friends as a result.   

At work I use the language the most.  I am gradually being given less help with translating.  For example, at my weekly meeting with the school principal this week I will be expected to bring up all the things that need to be discussed with her (instead of my volunteer coordinator bringing up these subjects, and me chiming in once in awhile).  These meetings are usually the most overwhelming part of my work week.  Although they only last an hour or so, I am always so exhausted afterwards and usually uncertain about exactly what all was decided on.  I have also found that I am braver with trying to engage kids in conversation, rather than adults.  They are less intimidating to me, maybe because they are generally more patient and forgiving.  Kids don’t avoid talking to you when they find out you don’t speak Spanish very well, unlike many adults.  

It’s funny… in high school and college Spanish classes I always felt like it came pretty easily to me.  The material tended to be easier for me than many other students in the class, which was a confidence boost for sure.  That boost has gone out the window.   I also realize that those classes mainly focused on reading and writing in Spanish, and not so much on understanding or speaking the language… which seems to be the most practical part, especially if I am living a place like this.  I am thankful, though, to at least have a pretty solid base of grammar and vocabulary to build on.  I can’t imagine starting from scratch!   Last week I also started taking private Spanish lessons twice a week from a guy living in Nueva Suyapa.  He seems to be good at working on conversational Spanish, which I’m hoping will be good for me. 

Well there is my venting session for the week.  Thank you to anyone who read through all of it… I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m complaining too much, these are just things I think about on a daily basis.  On a more positive note, I know that this whole experience is good for me.  It is stretching me more than I have ever been stretched.  Hopefully someday I will look back on this and be thankful for the whole experience.  If I can handle this challenge, after this year I’m pretty sure I should be able to handle any other challenge I come across.   There is so much more I could talk about, but for now just know that I think of my family and friends at home often and I hope and pray that you are all doing well!